I am so sorry to hear about this, Rain. I imagine that you may be feeling betrayed, violated, shocked, and all mixed-up inside.

I wish that there were some words of advice or encouragement that I could offer you, but all I can do is to let you know that I care. My marriage fell apart six years ago when my then-husband *thought* that I was having an affair. (The marriage deteriorated for a whole bunch of reasons, but people suggested afterwards that he was looking for something to call me on so that he could get out of the relationship and make me look like the guilty party.) My denials meant nothing to him. My request to go for marital counseling fell on deaf ears. I guess that he really wanted OUT and that nothing was going to stop him.

Do you feel that you can salvage the relationship? Do you *want* to? Does *he* want to? Are you better off with or without him? These are questions that you may want to answer in the depths and privacy of your own heart. I would suggest a cooling-off period of a few days, if possible, before you attempt a "Where do we go from here?" discussion with your boyfriend. When emotions are running high, one of you may end up saying something in the heat of the moment that the other person may never forget.

In the meantime, I wish you peace and calm.

Denise

6 years ago i found out that my now ex-husband was taking women out to dinner, movies, drives, etc. and when i confronted him, he denied things getting emotional or physical between them. i even went so far as to page one of his "women" and when she called, told her that he was married, was helping me raise my kids, etc. later that week he said that her mother had called him on his cell to cuss him out... now if it wasnt serious, why would mama have done that? with another chick, i went to her work and told her that i had a problem with her making dates for lunch with my husband. that if she wanted to get together as a group - her with her boyfriend, me with my hubby, that was cool... she said, no thanks. i lost 30 pounds in a 1 week period prior to having the guts to talk to her face to face.

i left him 6 months later. and i felt a vast happiness indescribable. he continued (for a year) to offer me the world. a new house, new furniture, car, whatever i wanted. it wasnt worth it to me anymore. we were together for almost 5 years.

so, no, i cant offer advice on how to deal with your situation, just give you my own experience.

peace and i hope you can get thru this rough time and live your life to the fullest potential.

~dreamer